Sunday, August 24, 2008

Hablas Aspergers?

Ah, yes - communication! One of the more difficult things for Autistics and Aspergers.
Be it an Autistc person unable to articulate his or her wants and needs, within their scope of understanding, or an Aspergers alien mindset with ideas and concepts generally incomprehensible to typical people, it's all problematic.
For those classically Autistic, under Kanner's definition, how to express desires?
For those Autistic more along the Asperger definition, how then do we make the average person understand.
After all, we are not stupid, but different. Unfortunately, we live in a world where differences are percieved as flaws; and ineffectual conversations, sadly, excaserbate that view. Personally, I wouldn't mind living in a world where I could openly speak my mind to any how asks for my opinion on matters, without being called an emotionless, callous bastard. I would like for someone to know my dreams, my desires, who I am - just for once - without my having to pretend I'm someone and something else. See, it's more than just misinformation that's harmful to an Asperger person - but the lack of any simple acknowledgement of our differences taken as fact. Instead, we are flawed and must work harder to integrate ourselves into society. A painful, depressing and altogether unsuccessful endeavour. There will always be a linguistic, behavioural and, yes, cultural barrier between Aspergers and everybody else. We simply aren't like others. Some want to be, others are glad for it. Others still have been misinformed, believe they are Aspergers but then only end up causing trouble.
What I ask is acceptance for the idea that we are very different, neither superior or inferior, but with a different cadre of traits and attributes.
Maybe then it could be understood that whilst we can't engage socially as others do, perhaps some level of mutual interaction can be reached, with understanding of what is expected of bohh sides, those typical and those Asperger.
Maybe then I won't have to pretend anymore.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've felt this way for more than 40 years. I still get crap from my family and in laws about how "rude" I am on the phone, or how "blunt" or "tactless" I am. I can manage in a professional arena, I picked medicine, which gives me some leeway, and I've learned how to present information in a caring way, because I do care. But I just can't maintain it all the time, and it effects my personal life. I just want to spare my son the frustrations I've had in my life. But that probably isn't possible. At least knowing why you are different helps, I just thought I was the only person in the world who couldn't make or keep a friend, and had everyone bug me about my "unfriendly" voice, etc. My easiest years were when I lived in Vienna, Austria, and no one expected me to fit in and use their language well, because I was a foreigner. They chalked up everything to me being an American!